I seem to be accepting my move in little moments of intense panic. The first one happened when I discovered I had to wear a skirt. If you know me, you understand why I had to panic about it. I’m accepting it better now, in fact I even found myself disappointed that a cute skirt didn’t fit me. Look out, I’ll be a fashionista soon. A fashionista in a mumu.
My second moment of panic was when it sunk in that there is only one book store in the entire country. Talk about lacking a culture of reading. For me to not have books is like to say I’ll now be surviving without carbon. I won’t die so much as cease to exist. I’m coming up with creative ways around this problem including a Kindle (which may be a bad idea), friends who have promised to send me a book a month, filling one entire suitcase with nothing but books and most importantly, remembering that I’m writing a novel while I’m there.
Today’s moment of panic was less funny and more worrisome. Jason got us scheduled on the flights we are taking. I was talking with a co-worker about it and he asked if I was excited or scared or overwhelmed. I said, “Yes.” He asked me what I was scared about and I was thinking about my family. I’m in close touch with my family. I talk to both my parents three or four times a week, I’m used to seeing both of them two or three times a week. I talk to my brother every week, or at least play voicemail tag. None of that is going to be possible from Vanuatu. If we have internet, than I might be able to skype with them some, or if we have cell phone reception I’ll be able to call more regularly. But we might be on an island where the fastest communication with the outside world is via Hamm Radio. You read that right, radio. Shortwave radios aren’t going to reach to the US.
I’m sure that this is just one more surmountable obstacle and one more learning experience. I’m sure I’ll adjust and my relationships will not be harmed from it. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t scary right now. A lot of things are going to change and I don’t know how to plan for all the changes. I guess that’s part of my adventure and something I will have to learn throughout this experience.