Shortly after I got back to the US, I decided I needed a few things I’d forgotten to bring with me. Things like razors. (I started shaving my legs again and it is kind of shocking to everyone, me included.)

My dad needed to stop by Target, so I went along for the ride. I mean, how bad can it be, right?

Target is insane. Seriously. I will leave the rest of the store out of this and focus exclusively on razors. The purpose of a razor is to provide a sharp edge with which to remove any offending hairs, right? So, the basic concept is “piece of metal with sharp edge.” Now, I understand that this basic concept can be improved upon by adding a second piece of metal next to the first to ensure that all the hairs are caught on the first go round. Fine. I get that. I can kind of even understand that some people might like some “conditioning strip” thing after the razor has crossed their skin in the hopes that a little pad of soap stuff is going to make a difference in the shine and luster of the skin you will never show in the Minnesota winter, not to mention that same winter is busy sucking all moisture out of your body and drying out your legs faster than the razor can keep up with. I mean, it seems a little silly, but ok, fine. I can handle that, too.

But why do we need 17 kinds of razors? I tried to understand what the difference was between one pack of razors and another. I looked to see how many blades (2 or 3, every time), how many in the pack (3-5), if the “conditioning strip” was different (not, and there aren’t any that didn’t have something there), the price (about the same across the board) and the colors (all pansy, stupid pastels). So, what’s the point of having 17 choices of disposable razors?

My conclusion is that there isn’t a point. One name brand is not significantly different than the other and in fact, having that many choices reduces our choices. We (I) get overwhelmed and fall back on whatever is familiar. I’m not going to branch out, try a new product or style. Advertising isn’t going to help, because everyone is doing the same advertising. Making a product more attractive won’t make a difference because my brain has gone into panic mode. There is no reasonable way to compare and contrast all those choices while standing in the store. So we don’t. We stick to the easy and the familiar.

I did get my razor, though my dad was wondering where I was by the time I had that conversation with myself. They work fine. My legs are shaved. I don’t even remember what brand they are, I only know they are pink and that also bothers me.